i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
