it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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