So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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