Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You took a bar mat shot.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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