Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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