Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
