Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
