My hair reeks of homosexuality.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Randomize
