You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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