My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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