69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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