Your tits are I can't wait for
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
