and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he shaved USA in his pubs
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
