Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
