I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
