i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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