I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize