So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
