Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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