am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
