Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Someone signed my nipple.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
