If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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