You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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