I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
