five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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