Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
