Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
