He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
