I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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