i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
