how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
