Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
