It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
