In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize