I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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