Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
