THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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