I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
