First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The best revenge is premature balding
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
