i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
