I like my sex mixed with concussions.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
