Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Randomize
