im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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