I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
