he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
