hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
