And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
