Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
