I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize