worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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