So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
