there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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