...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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