My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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