So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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