I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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