Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
