Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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