Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
