I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
