god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
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