sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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