I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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