this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
