If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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