I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
