don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
