Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
