Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
