4 words: hood of his car
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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