i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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