I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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