first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she peed on how many people?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize