What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
